Insanity claims my mind like an untamed beast, clawing and scratching to be let free. Words from unfinished written works haunt me like a childhood nightmare. The day to day things of life becoming constant road blocks that stop that which wants to run free in the wild and vast unknown. Like a caged rabbit, my heart hammers bringing me to near suffocation. The lights fade to a dismal gray, shadows crawling out to taunt me with their freedom. Harried sounds of screaming vultures as their wings beat around me. As my vision fades to complete black the sounds of iron bars protesting as they start shrinking smaller and smaller…
Words said so many times before
“I won’t do it again”
Another promise for breaking
“You make me crazy”
Words of love or words of pain?
“I need you”
So simple a declaration
“Why can’t you be…”
Better, quiet, obedient?
“If you’d only listen”
Words change meaning the same
“She fell while cooking.”
Another lie added in
“She walked into the door.”
Knowing looks of doubt
“You’re getting sloppy”
Your belt cracks down
“Please baby, forgive me”
Your tears melt my pain
“You’d be nothing without me”
Sometimes I wonder
“It won’t happen again”
I turn and close the door
I want to quit. Tired of trying
Black clouds weigh down
Tears fall like rain
Nothing feels right. Relentless pain
Self doubt and loathing
Broken wheels stop turning
Where is the sun? Blackness of night
Lost inside darkness
Shadow stained soul
Death beckons. Life’s mockery
Freedom desired. Door slams shut
Air becomes thick
No fight left. Nothing to give
Hollow and empty
Prisoner to myself
Sometimes bad things happen to really good people. Sometimes those good people get to rediscover their hidden talents and pleasures. For example, my roommate, Benjamin Rogers, is going through some rough times in his life. But I get to see him nearly every night rediscover life and pleasure. You see, Ben has been all over the world, and one of the things he has taken from this experience is cooking. Ben can cook, seriously good foods.
Now I am the lucky one that gets to not only experience this hidden talent, he is taking the time to teach me everything from different recipes, how to cook, to the sensations of new and different flavors. No matter how stressful the day is, he comes home and the true pleasures begin. In our small kitchen, the lessons begin. No, I don’t sit in a chair and just watch, I dig in, I mess up, I learn, and I get to create along side of him.
Tonight was a special new meal that I had never had before and Ben had not had the pleasure of making. Pad Thai. Our new Ikea brand wok heats up on the stove with some oil, I watch him expertly cut up the vegetables and mix up the ingredients. I don’t play with knives and watching Ben dice, mince, carve, and chop is something of an art. I create the line of ingredients and he moves over to the wok and tells me to get ready because it’s going to happen quick.
The kitchen fills up with heavenly scents of the garlic, soy sauce, hot chili sauce (rooster sauce), chicken, noodles, cilantro, scallions, and various other smells I am still only beginning to learn about. He is right, it’s quick cooking. He plates the food (another art form as he takes pleasure in making the plates pretty) and hands me mine. Grabbing the napkins and chop sticks I sit down and just let the aroma of this food wash over me, learning to identify each one of the ingredients.
Let me just say, the Pad Thai was wonderful! The flavors don’t assault you, but gently roll around in your mouth, each one slowly coming to the front with each bite to be presented and then back away for the next one to come forward. The squirt of lime over the freshly chopped cilantro added just the right pop to the dish. It was delicious and I cannot wait until the next time he makes it.
On my newly awakening flavor palate I give this dish a 9.5 out of 10. Check out his website over the next couple of days for the recipe and try it yourself.
This past weekend I had my first book signing as a published author at That Book Place in Madison, Indiana. I was accompanied by Benjamin Rogers and Patrick D’Orazio. There were about 30 authors there in the outdoor fair they have every year celebrating their anniversary of when they opened the store. It was an honor to be invited to attend.
The morning was a bit chilly, but when we got there, Patrick was waiting for us with two extra seats next to him. Due to the breeze, we couldn’t do our full table set up or even take Zebediah out of the car. So Patrick helped Ben and I set up our areas and we sat down ready to sell. I was nervous, anxious, and a wound up ball of nerves.
As a publicist, it’s a different hat you wear so to speak. I’m normally prepared to run around and be fast paced all day long. Not even close to what I experienced. You set up, sit down and wait… and wait…. and wait.
People come by; you say good morning, they continue on. Some stop and talk to you, but never look at your book. Some pick it up and thumb through it only to move along without a word. This can go on for what feels like hours. Inside the pride you have at your work starts to get a little weaker. You start wondering if all the blood sweat and tears you put into your book was for nothing. You begin to doubt yourself. Doesn’t everyone understand just by looking at you sitting there that you are a special someone and they would really enjoy your work? You’re smiling and pleasant and no one seems to really notice you.
Just when you think you should pack it all up and just go home, something really special happens. I had an older woman stop and pick up my book. I smiled and made the small chit chat, trying to be quiet while she looked at it. She turned and called her daughter over to read a couple of my poems to her. Next thing I know, she turns around and with a gleam in her eye says very softly how much she would like to have my book.
Suddenly all doubt washes away, I feel like I could sing, or maybe pass out. As I sign her copy with trembling hands, Ben and Patrick stand up and take pictures of my first sale. I am suddenly on top of the world again and feeling great. I shook her hand and as she turned to go down to the next author had to step away from the table myself. Tears of joy welled up in my eyes.
As Ben looked at me smiling all I could say was, “I’m so sorry, I never understood what an author goes through.” He chuckled and we sat back down and had a great day there on out.
All I can say at this point is a humble thank you to each and every one of you that support me, help me through this, and follow me. You are all what keeps me going.
After all this time I believe I finally understand the meaning of, “a labor of love.” For over six months I have been working hard on a book of poetry that I was under contract with the Library of Horror Press. As of today it has gone live, and I would like to present to you, ‘Poetry From Beyond the Mist’.
Inner turmoil rages, monsters from the dark constantly pull you back down into the murky depths of a haunted life. Innocence lost, the demands of the living become a burden that weighs heavily upon your shoulders. The evil that attacks us everyday, keeps the clouds so dark that the sun cannot be seen. With small glimmers of light to keep you driving forward along your path, discover the torments of the soul and mind.
From the deepest darkest dungeons of her mind, Elizabeth LaFond emerges to share with you those things which should be left in the shadows beyond the mist.
I have to thank a few people that if they hadn’t stepped in and helped me out, I would not have gotten this opportunity. David Naughton-Shires of KnightWatch Press did the amazing cover art for my book. Monique Snyman of Killer Aphrodite, David Dunwoody, author of ‘Empire’ insert link, and Stephen North, author of ‘Dead Tide’ and ‘Dead Tide Rising’ , for the blurbs they took the time to write for the back cover of my book. I also want to give a special thank you to Benjamin Rogers, author of ‘FAITH & THE UNDEAD.’ As a fellow author, roommate, and my best friend, he has done more for me in getting this together and out there to share with the world. Thank you.
Not to forget my fans and followers who grow more everyday. Thank you. I hope you will enjoy my first book and come back for more.
I hope this post finds all of my friends and fans doing well. As many of you know, I have been diligently working on my first book, a collection of my darker poetry. Being as you all have been so patient in my downtime to finish it up, I thought I would share a funny little story of what just happened this past weekend.
Friday after a long week at my day job, I finally arrived home. I opened my screen door to go into my home and find a package fall out. As my arms were full, I juggled things around and got in the door. Setting it down on the counter, I saw that it was a package for me from Createspace, which would be the company that prints out the novels and books from my publisher. I think my stomach dropped through my toes when I realized what it was. The proof copy of my book. The final step before any book goes live to the public. It was here. I did the only thing I could think of at the time, I called my best friend and roommate, Benjamin Rogers. The following is a pretty accurate description of the next 30 second phone call.
Ben: “It came didn’t it.”
Me: “I cannot open it ohmygod, it’s here, ohmygod, BEN!!!!!”
Ben: Chuckles, “Congratulations. I’m on my way home.”
Me: “No you don’t understand, it’s here, cannot open it, OH. MY. GOD!”
Ben: “Okay, I will be there shortly, we will take a look at it.”
Me: Squealing now “Gonna faint, gonna scream, gonna pass out, gonna throw up. Ben, OHMYGOD!!!!”
Ben: Smiling, “Beth, breathe.”
Needless to say, I didn’t pass out or throw up. I did scream though. I was shaking so bad I couldn’t open it on my own. Ben did rush home and he watched as I opened it and held a dream that I had never dared dream in my hands for the first time. The smile on his face told me more than words. He saw me everyday in my struggle getting these written, the emotional toll some of them took on me as I put them on paper. He was the one that put them all together and presented them to his publisher, Dr. Pus. In fact, if it were not for Ben, I would not be able to present this to the world. He did all the formatting and helped me with the edits of this.
Now that the weekend has gone by and we have looked through the proof to be sure that I present to you the best possible product, there are a couple changes, so the release will be delayed just a little longer. I want nothing but the best for my fans. Your support and continued following is what keeps me going. I hope to have a release date for you very soon. It should be in March, as well as with my list of appearances. In the meantime, if you go to www.pissedoffgeek.com you will get to see the very first review done on, Poetry From Beyond the Mist, right now.
I want to thank each and every one of you again. I want to thank Ben for all of his hard work and dedication to seeing this through for me. I want to thank my publisher Dr. Pus with the Library of Horror Press. I am humbled by your support and followings. I still cannot believe this is real. If I am dreaming, don’t pinch me, I never want to wake up. Oh my God!