Life update

So it’s been a long time since I’ve posted.  A few snippets here and there, mostly of random writing, but even that has been sparse at best.  I’ve been asked recently what is going on and if I have any upcoming projects.  The answers are it’s complicated and yes.

Trying to sum up the past two years and make it a long story short.  My best friend Ben lost his Dad, then his wife, his house, his dogs, and very recently his Mom.  I know many that would insert a joke here about a country song.  However I have been with him through every step of this.  Watching and sometimes feeling the same, all the emotions from anger to sadness, depression to guilt, frustration to anxiety.  I have watched him day in and day out for over a year now from when I opened my home to him and gave him what meager life I could.  It has been incredibly difficult for him and for me, the helplessness I feel sometimes to not be able to take away some of the bad can be overwhelming.

One of the positive things in his life is his daughter Mallory who will be 3 in May.  She is such a breath of fresh air and a spark of life to both of us.  Hearing her laughter can take away the darkest of days.  Watching her long eyelashes rest upon her cheeks while she sleeps melts my heart every time.  Ben will never understand the gift he has given me as I had never wanted children, by having him in my home and my life; he has brought her into it too.  Wild horses couldn’t drag me away from either of them.  I am truly lucky to not only have discovered this joy, but to get to continue to be a part of it.

So what else do I do you ask?  Ben and I have found a common love of fishing and the outdoors.  Most every time he doesn’t have Mallory, we are out in some stream, river, or pond fishing.  For my birthday I got a fishing kayak and you can hardly pry me out of it when I get out there.  To be able to be out on the water is the most calming experience I’ve ever had in my life.  The cell phone gets turned off, no computers, no work, no bills, no traffic, no headaches, and no drama on the water.   I’ve gotten to see so much wildlife and beauty out there, not to mention the fish I’ve caught.  I have to admit, the rush of feeling that fish on my line and then fighting to bring it in, only to take a picture and set it free is incredible.  You have only to go to my Facebook page to see all the pictures I’ve taken.

Now understand I grew up racing cars and the high paced environment.  So this experience is considerably slower and even more relaxing for me.  The best part is I have someone to share it with who feels exactly the same way.  Which is a good thing because you should never go out there alone; you have only to read Ben’s blog to find out why.  For Christmas I got a fly fishing rod.  As the weather has been conducive this winter, I’ve even gotten to go out a few times and use it.  I never understood Ben when he said it’s an art, but it really is.  The graceful movements are extended all the way past the rod and the line out over the water.  There is such pleasure in it when I cast just right.  I haven’t caught a fish on it yet, but I’m not discouraged.  The fish will come, they always do.

That brings us to winter.  There are some days that are too cold to go out and play in nature.  That does happen inOhio.  So I do have some writing projects I am working on.  I am currently finishing up the edits for an anthology by Knightwatch Press called The Ultimate Angels.  I should have that done and off to be formatted within the next week or so.  Then it’s back to my novel.  My characters are calling to me to finish their story and it is my goal to have exactly that done before spring.

So keep watching here, and I will try to do better at keeping you all posted on my life’s happenings.  Thank you for reading!

My first book signing

This past weekend I had my first book signing as a published author at That Book Place in Madison, Indiana. I was accompanied by Benjamin Rogers and Patrick D’Orazio. There were about 30 authors there in the outdoor fair they have every year celebrating their anniversary of when they opened the store. It was an honor to be invited to attend.

The morning was a bit chilly, but when we got there, Patrick was waiting for us with two extra seats next to him. Due to the breeze, we couldn’t do our full table set up or even take Zebediah out of the car. So Patrick helped Ben and I set up our areas and we sat down ready to sell. I was nervous, anxious, and a wound up ball of nerves.

As a publicist, it’s a different hat you wear so to speak. I’m normally prepared to run around and be fast paced all day long. Not even close to what I experienced. You set up, sit down and wait… and wait…. and wait.

People come by; you say good morning, they continue on. Some stop and talk to you, but never look at your book. Some pick it up and thumb through it only to move along without a word. This can go on for what feels like hours. Inside the pride you have at your work starts to get a little weaker. You start wondering if all the blood sweat and tears you put into your book was for nothing. You begin to doubt yourself. Doesn’t everyone understand just by looking at you sitting there that you are a special someone and they would really enjoy your work? You’re smiling and pleasant and no one seems to really notice you.

Just when you think you should pack it all up and just go home, something really special happens. I had an older woman stop and pick up my book. I smiled and made the small chit chat, trying to be quiet while she looked at it. She turned and called her daughter over to read a couple of my poems to her. Next thing I know, she turns around and with a gleam in her eye says very softly how much she would like to have my book.

Suddenly all doubt washes away, I feel like I could sing, or maybe pass out. As I sign her copy with trembling hands, Ben and Patrick stand up and take pictures of my first sale. I am suddenly on top of the world again and feeling great. I shook her hand and as she turned to go down to the next author had to step away from the table myself. Tears of joy welled up in my eyes.

As Ben looked at me smiling all I could say was, “I’m so sorry, I never understood what an author goes through.” He chuckled and we sat back down and had a great day there on out.

All I can say at this point is a humble thank you to each and every one of you that support me, help me through this, and follow me.  You are all what keeps me going.